today's rant

I am getting so frustrated trying to navigate post-war family life! S is so hurt that it has affected every part of our life. EVERY part. But, according to the Army, he's not injured. He's not injured enough for so many programs. Everywhere I look for help for us to survive the way that we live, I get told that we don't qualify because the Army already Honorable Discharged him. What do I do?? Where do I turn? We need more of an income then we are getting from the VA but S has been advised not to work because of pain and PTSD but, for the exact same reasons, I can't leave him home with the babies and go to work, myself. How are we supposed to survive? Why, when S went to serve our country and do what he's told to by men who don't believe him, why now is he left to fend for himself? What happened to taking care of veterans who aren't missing a limb? He can't live the life he wants to live. He can't get down and play with our babies, he can't go for a walk. It make me so sad to watch them try to get him to play and he's in so much pain that there is no way.

I want to help him and do everything but I am getting so worn out. I can't do everything, I know I can't but then I feel guilty for not getting things done. I have so many plans and I start projects, but nothing gets to get completed. It's a horrible feeling to look around and see that I haven't finished anything and the house shows it.

I just found another insurance that we paid in to for the Army that doesn't apply and so we will never get any benefits from it. Traumatic life insurance... HA! Since he can take himself to the bathroom and feed himself, he doesn't qualify for help.

Wives of wounded warriors, nope don't qualify for their help either because the National Guard idiots didn't want to do the paperwork to give him medical. They listened to some stupid idiot and didn't believe S that he was injured at all. They decide, on the word of others, that he is FAKING his injuries. And yet, the minute I get him home and to the VA, S is 80% disabled from injuries that occurred in Iraq, but NOOOO he's faking! It makes me so mad and I have no outlet! I have no where to turn to get us that help because he's NOT INJURED ENOUGH!

So most of my rants will be about this part of my life. Smatterings of parenthood, life, food, and random thoughts will also play a part but mostly it will be about the things that I find about PTSD, VA stuff, people that Actually help the common soldier, stuff like that.