Apologies only where wrong was done

I'm not sure how this is going to come across, but I hope you see the love that is involved. I am writing because of the reaction that happened when Steven wrote to Emily about our bishop going to Hawaii. How would Steven know how things work when he's never been told? Our trip as a family last year was the first one that he has been as an adult and yet neither he nor I were told that it might be a problem or a hardship for us to be there. If we had been told, we would have planned accordingly. He loves all of you more than you know and it has really bothered him that he put people out by asking about the tickets for our bishop. He has not yet seen your reply to him on the Nihipali page and I'm not sure what his reaction will be besides regret and sadness but it does bother me that you would reply to him like that when he hadn't even talked to you about anything. I am replying like this because I do try to make his stress less since it affects all of us, especially the kids. I don't know what you guys have been told by Clyde and Debby about what Steven is going through, but they won't listen to us and they have minimized everything in their minds and have consistently put him down for his reactions to what they think he has gone through. I live with him and with all of these problems daily and I can tell you that his feelings, problems and reactions are real. He is not faking anything neither is he whining as his siblings have flat out said.
I will understand if you are upset for me by saying these things but I am tired of Steven's family, near and far, treating him so poorly that he cannot be calm when even talking about his brothers especially. I am tired that he feels that there is not one person in his family that he can trust or turn to.
Please don't be upset with him for this letter, he has no idea that I am sending it. Feel free to dislike me, it doesn't hurt me at all. I feel that someone needs to hear it from us or at least come to us if there is a problem or questions instead of getting their info from Clyde or Debby or anyone else about things that they don't know anything about. Steven needs support from family besides just mine although my family has been splendid about supporting him and our little family.
Please pass this on to whomever may Need to know, but it is not meant to hurt anyone but just inform. If there are questions about how he is doing or about the kids, please write to us. We had a wonderful visit last year and had been hoping to come again but I am slightly relieved that we did not since the responses that he got to his questions. Yes, he may have put them badly and perhaps stupidly, but once again, how would he know? Please accept our apologies for things that we may have done wrong. We all love you guys.
~Janell

• Janell
• First of all stop blaming Clyde & Debby for everything tumultuous in your lives. Disobedience to his parents is why Steven's life is in such a mess. I personally don't talk to Clyde & Deb, so for you to say what they have told us is nothing. Steven should stop posting on facebook and saying that he asked for help and got his head bit off!!!! You know nothing about the Nihipali Family, we are very close and for you to say is was a hardship to have you guys come and visit is a bunch of crap! There was no hardship, but Steven them like to "show off" and you guys make it seem like we poor and uneducated. Steven is lazy and to blame the war, is just another excuse for his laziness. Steven just needs to watch what he post on Facebook.

All I can say is Wow! Ok, that's not true, I have plenty to say about that...I can't believe that these people can be so...ignorant about what returning soldiers go through. AND for an aunt, one of his favorites, to say that to his wife??!!! She may not be Uneducated academically, but she knows Nothing about what we are dealing with or about Steven! I just am appalled by the lack of understanding, of compassion, that is being shown!